On Wednesday June 1st, Nate got a call from the baby’s case worker indicating to us that a decision on the children was going to be made the next day, Thursday June 2nd. This decision would be irrevocable. There were three parties being considered us, the temporary foster parents, and the birth mother’s in-laws. We needed to write a letter about why we wanted to adopt. They would submit our file with all of our background checks, home study, documents, and request to a committee. The committee would decide.
We got the phone call Thursday afternoon .The phone call indicated that we were not chosen. They would not give us any other information.
Our hearts were crushed.
One…then none… then three…. Then None.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
One then None... then THREE...
We had lunch with three case workers that were involved with the case… the birth mothers case worker, her husband’s case worker, and the agency case worker that was certifying us as foster parents. They asked us if we would be willing to take all three of the children. I jumped at the question, “Without a doubt, would we take all three!” Nate had to internalize it a moment but knew that he wanted to as well.
The father had been caught using drugs and the children were being taken from him as well. So what started out as one child had now become three.
The Father’s mother had custody of the children and had us go to her house to meet her and the two young children. They were amazing. So beautiful! So Innocent! So resilient! I was in love. Nate’s face lighted up as the youngest climbed into his lap. They played, they laughed, and they even read books with us. The grandmother asked us if they could come visit us. We were thrilled that she would want them to come to our home. So we set up a date and they came over to our house and had dinner. Once again, it was confirmed to us that we could love these children as our own and that we would do whatever necessary to make to comfortable, happy, and loved.
A week went by and we had not heard anything (all the while I pumping and still producing milk). So we called the birth mother’s case worker and asked if she would come with us to the jail to talk to the birth mother.
The visit went well in the fact that the birth mother said she wanted us to have all three and that she understood she was not able to take care of them. She told us she had a pre-trial scheduled on the 6th and that is when she would tell them that is what she wanted. She is now facing up to another year in jail.
We were sad for her but happy to know that we could help in raising the children in a loving home. They would know that she loved them but was unable to take care of them.
I called the mother-in-law to talk to her about our meeting. When she answered she didn’t seem too happy. She asked me if I would testify that we just wanted to the baby not the other two. Her daughter in Texas was willing to take the two older babies but not the newborn. She told me that she didn’t consider the baby a sibling to the other two because they hadn’t met and they didn’t have the same father… This broke my heart because I have two sisters that don’t have the same biological father but they are every bit a sister to me. I love them unconditionally and could not imagine my life without them. Nate and I want what is best for the children as a whole.
The father had been caught using drugs and the children were being taken from him as well. So what started out as one child had now become three.
The Father’s mother had custody of the children and had us go to her house to meet her and the two young children. They were amazing. So beautiful! So Innocent! So resilient! I was in love. Nate’s face lighted up as the youngest climbed into his lap. They played, they laughed, and they even read books with us. The grandmother asked us if they could come visit us. We were thrilled that she would want them to come to our home. So we set up a date and they came over to our house and had dinner. Once again, it was confirmed to us that we could love these children as our own and that we would do whatever necessary to make to comfortable, happy, and loved.
A week went by and we had not heard anything (all the while I pumping and still producing milk). So we called the birth mother’s case worker and asked if she would come with us to the jail to talk to the birth mother.
The visit went well in the fact that the birth mother said she wanted us to have all three and that she understood she was not able to take care of them. She told us she had a pre-trial scheduled on the 6th and that is when she would tell them that is what she wanted. She is now facing up to another year in jail.
We were sad for her but happy to know that we could help in raising the children in a loving home. They would know that she loved them but was unable to take care of them.
I called the mother-in-law to talk to her about our meeting. When she answered she didn’t seem too happy. She asked me if I would testify that we just wanted to the baby not the other two. Her daughter in Texas was willing to take the two older babies but not the newborn. She told me that she didn’t consider the baby a sibling to the other two because they hadn’t met and they didn’t have the same father… This broke my heart because I have two sisters that don’t have the same biological father but they are every bit a sister to me. I love them unconditionally and could not imagine my life without them. Nate and I want what is best for the children as a whole.
CERTIFIED FOSTER PARENTS
The day the baby was born we got a phone call, informing us that the birth mother didn’t voluntarily give the baby up. Some people said she was mad because she wasn’t out of jail and she was using the baby, others said she wanted to keep the baby… there’s a problem though… she is in jail and cannot keep the baby. The state took the baby and put him in a temporary foster home.
We were instructed to become certified foster parents so that the baby could be placed with us. Now that the birth mother didn’t willingly give the baby up we had to go through the state. We already haD a home study, our background checks done, and a lawyer but apparently the state has a lot more red tape we have to go through. Private adoptions are a lot less complicated.
So... we took foster parent classes, became CPR certified, had additional background checks done (digital finger prints) and after all that… NOTHING HAPPENED.
The baby’s case work and boss informed us that we needed to be patient. Her boss even went and talked to the birth mother in jail and asked what she wanted to done with the baby and she told him she wanted to the baby to be with us. He told us this was positive and that there were some additional approvals we had to go through…PATIENCE is a Virtue….
We were instructed to become certified foster parents so that the baby could be placed with us. Now that the birth mother didn’t willingly give the baby up we had to go through the state. We already haD a home study, our background checks done, and a lawyer but apparently the state has a lot more red tape we have to go through. Private adoptions are a lot less complicated.
So... we took foster parent classes, became CPR certified, had additional background checks done (digital finger prints) and after all that… NOTHING HAPPENED.
The baby’s case work and boss informed us that we needed to be patient. Her boss even went and talked to the birth mother in jail and asked what she wanted to done with the baby and she told him she wanted to the baby to be with us. He told us this was positive and that there were some additional approvals we had to go through…PATIENCE is a Virtue….
So much going on...
So much has happened in such a short amount of time… the birth mother was hoping to get out of jail before she had the baby so she could be in a halfway house but her sentence is too severe. I guess she got out of jail last time she was pregnant.
Nate and I visited her every week without fail-many times twice a week. The jail only allows them to have visits on two days of the week and she can only have one visit per day. We tried to go at the latest time just in case her husband or the case worker wanted to visit her. The last few times we visited the birth mother looked weary and said she hadn’t heard from anyone but us.
This worried Nate and me. We had her recite her husband’s phone number so we could call him to see if he would come visit her but the number was disconnected… She feels all alone.
Nate and I visited her every week without fail-many times twice a week. The jail only allows them to have visits on two days of the week and she can only have one visit per day. We tried to go at the latest time just in case her husband or the case worker wanted to visit her. The last few times we visited the birth mother looked weary and said she hadn’t heard from anyone but us.
This worried Nate and me. We had her recite her husband’s phone number so we could call him to see if he would come visit her but the number was disconnected… She feels all alone.
The Milk is HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On March 28, 2011 I got my prescription for Domperidone-
Domperidone in relation to Lactation according to Wikipedia-
The hormone prolactin stimulates lactation in humans, and its release is inhibited by the dopamine secreted by the hypothalamus. Domperidone, by acting as an anti-dopaminergic, results in increased prolactin secretion, and thus promotes lactation.
Since, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), domperidone is not approved for enhanced lactation in any country,[6] it is sometimes self-prescribed from original research or prescribed "off-label" for this use in countries around the world.
To induce milk production I started taking domperidone, prenatal vitamins, and an herbal supplement called fenugreek. In addition to taking these, I started pumping. The protocols for inducing milk production indicate that it takes up to 30 days to see any results and it is best to give your body 3 to 6 months.
On April 3, 2011 I started producing milk! 6 days after starting the process. I was so excited I cried. I could not believe how amazing the human body is!
Our freezer has been jam packed full of breast milk ever since. My sister-in-law, who is a post-partum nurse, told me that I produce cream. It doesn’t really separate and is creamy. At least I know my babies will plenty of nutrition
A Road Less Traveled....
In February, Nate and I embarked upon a journey that was sure to be a "road less traveled." Nate's cousin, who works with a social worker, told us about a young woman who was in search of a family to adopt her unborn child. Her circumstance was unique. The baby was a result of a rape and she was in jail. She had two options, either to give the baby up to the state or to choose a family to adopt her baby.
She had already met one family who was interested in adopting the baby. She didn’t have a good feeling about them. They had asked her not to have an epidural and told her that if there was anything wrong with the baby, they would not go through with the adoption.
When Nate’s cousin had told us about the situation we immediately knew we would be more than willing to meet the Mother. You see, I have always wanted to adopt. My Mother was raped and chose to keep me. My Father adopted me from the get go. They chose me. Growing up, I had a complex-an identity crisis. I felt like I was a mistake. My parents were wonderful in loving me and reassuring me that I wasn’t. Even with all the love and support, I struggled. But sometimes our hardships, trials, and infirmities can be beneficial in helping others through their own struggles. This, I feel to be true. I know the experiences I have had have brought me to a point in my life where I can be of help to others. I always wanted to get the point where I could help others instead of others helping me. My whole life I have been blessed with angels and support. My family and friends are most precious to me. There is not much I wouldn’t do for them. So, naturally I was drawn to this Mother.
We consented to meet her. Our first visit to the jail was wonderful. We had both Nate’s cousin and the case worker with us. The moment I saw her I fell in love with her. She had been through a lot and we learned that she currently had two other children who were in the custody of her husband and in-laws. They were 1 ½ and 2 ½ years old. The oldest is a girl and her name is Amari and Josiah is her younger brother. She has not seen either of her children for about 8 months.
We hit it off with birth mother from the get go. She told us that she wanted to the adoption closed. We told her that we respected that but that she would always know where to find us if she wanted a picture or update. We talked about where we grew up and what kind of music we liked. We talked about her hobbies. Everything went well.
The case worker asked her if she wanted me in the delivery room and the birth mother said yes. She wanted me to be there.
We told her we would visit her weekly and she was excited about that.
After that night, we began the process to become adoptive parents. We got a lawyer and I started to process to produce milk. I know, you are probably asking yourself if you read what I just wrote right. I assure you, you did I wanted to give the baby the best start to live that I could and although I wasn’t carrying him for the 9 months, I would do what I could.
She had already met one family who was interested in adopting the baby. She didn’t have a good feeling about them. They had asked her not to have an epidural and told her that if there was anything wrong with the baby, they would not go through with the adoption.
When Nate’s cousin had told us about the situation we immediately knew we would be more than willing to meet the Mother. You see, I have always wanted to adopt. My Mother was raped and chose to keep me. My Father adopted me from the get go. They chose me. Growing up, I had a complex-an identity crisis. I felt like I was a mistake. My parents were wonderful in loving me and reassuring me that I wasn’t. Even with all the love and support, I struggled. But sometimes our hardships, trials, and infirmities can be beneficial in helping others through their own struggles. This, I feel to be true. I know the experiences I have had have brought me to a point in my life where I can be of help to others. I always wanted to get the point where I could help others instead of others helping me. My whole life I have been blessed with angels and support. My family and friends are most precious to me. There is not much I wouldn’t do for them. So, naturally I was drawn to this Mother.
We consented to meet her. Our first visit to the jail was wonderful. We had both Nate’s cousin and the case worker with us. The moment I saw her I fell in love with her. She had been through a lot and we learned that she currently had two other children who were in the custody of her husband and in-laws. They were 1 ½ and 2 ½ years old. The oldest is a girl and her name is Amari and Josiah is her younger brother. She has not seen either of her children for about 8 months.
We hit it off with birth mother from the get go. She told us that she wanted to the adoption closed. We told her that we respected that but that she would always know where to find us if she wanted a picture or update. We talked about where we grew up and what kind of music we liked. We talked about her hobbies. Everything went well.
The case worker asked her if she wanted me in the delivery room and the birth mother said yes. She wanted me to be there.
We told her we would visit her weekly and she was excited about that.
After that night, we began the process to become adoptive parents. We got a lawyer and I started to process to produce milk. I know, you are probably asking yourself if you read what I just wrote right. I assure you, you did I wanted to give the baby the best start to live that I could and although I wasn’t carrying him for the 9 months, I would do what I could.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
New Stuff
It's been quite the year...2011 I mean... Yes, it is only March but much has gone one. Have decided to build a house/finish building a house with our best friends Megan and Nate. Our home should be finished sometime in April or May. I received a promotion within my company and I am now a Service Center Manager. We also will be adopting a little baby. The baby is due on May 8th but is expected at anytime. There is more to come!
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